The Pivot on the Edge of the other Pivot at the Edge of the end of the World...or Something

What an absolute fucker of a year it’s been. A real mollywhopper, no matter how you swing it.

Here are some of the highlights:

• PGS is now a for-real, bona fide provider of government infrastructure for SIDS. The plan worked, and now we’re wrestling with product-market-fit in a way that feels reassuringly predictable. We’re going to be working in the Pacific and IOS regions within the next 6 months, and entering the West Coast African market is slower than I’d planned, but moving along surely. It’s different with this: I know how it works, and how to make it work. I didn’t really have that confidence starting other things. It’ll take a few forms before it’s there, but quietly building PGS into a world-class consultancy and thought leader in tech infrastructure for SIDS is really enjoyable, bumps and all. Where’s the website? It’s almost done, chill out.
• We had to let some people go and shut down some non-performing verticals, to keep the business and its mission alive. Does that need elaboration? I hope not: it’s still extraordinarily hard and very personal every time, but it’s a different kind of hard, now. The business stays alive, which is a good thing (and I had to check on that, too).
• One of our people-dependent partnerships had a people-problem (someone important left, a bit suddenly), and it threw everything off-kilter. This meant that my plan of kicking back from February after a year of carefully planned lay-ups had to shift into a new one: captain-on-the-sinking-ship, making tough business decisions, hard calculations, lawyer calls..the whole thing. The only upside is that it was among a few scenarios I’d planned around, so dealing with it practically was relatively easy. Emotionally? Not so. Very difficult.

I had big plans for 2024. My plans to work on nothing but fonts for the past few months was a bit derailed, but I’m still drawing, and in the middle of everything go Jaro pushed to Google Fonts (thanks to Mirko and Emma, mostly).

So, how have I been handling all the pivoting? From product founder to hands off consultant and founder, to salvage wrecker, back to CEO again (but, this time different, sort of), there’s been a few things that I’ve had to keep consistent to not lose my sanity:

1. Take care of the body: I have had an on-off relationship with various fun chemical stimulants over the years, and one of the closest ways in which this relationship manifested itself was in ill-advised stress management. At 35, a weekend-long bender is still fun, but does things to your body that I shudder to even recall. Its not worth it. So, I’ve had to eke out a new relationship with food—in my case, this means sometimes eating anything instead of starving myself, and alsohol—less is better, none is best.
2. De-personalise: Making problems about people and the way they feel about me is dangerous. You’d think that my 15 or so years of therapy would help me rationalise this easily, but it’s still hard to not take things personally. I think it makes sense, as someone who cares really deeply about the work they do—and by association, the people they make it with—but it’s not always sensible or healthy. Some things can just be really shitty, and some people can be really shitty at handling them (self included), which is hard to acknowledge, but ihealthier than holding on to resentment or making generalisations.
3. Lean on your people: I don’t think i’ve ever spoken to my friends about CEO-work more than in the past few months. And this makes sense, because it’s also the most personal that work has gotten in a long time. It’s also been essential to my survival: I’m lucky to have amazing friends, partners, and work peers who I get to talk to, be vulnerable with, and solve problems with (when I let them). It’s a lesson I’ve been slow to learn, but sometimes all you need is to be backed into the right corner. I’ve cried to my friends, told them my darkest fears about my long-term career survival, and have played more video games in the past three months (I’m aarcher666 on Steam and heavy on Overcooked) than I have in the past 3 years. Adversity’s blessing has been that I’m reminded about how much of my personal worth doesn’t have anything to do with anyone’s CEO. Thank fuck, because, who knows how long that’ll keep up for.

It’s all a lot, and a bit hard, but I’m a real believer in stupidly trying your best above the odds; I don’t know how to turn that off. What it’s good to learn to turn off is the correlation of that ambition with my own personal sense of worth—it’s not always an awful thing to get reminders of this.

My favourite Black Stalin song has some great lyrics about giving a fuck. It’s a song that’s been taking me through a lot these days:

And now we country facing its darkest hour
So our people need us today more than ever
But in our fight to recover, if ever you feel to surrender
It have one little thing that I want you always remember...




We could make it if we try just a little harder
If we just give one more try, life will be much sweeter.

Anyway, here’s hoping your Q2’s been off to a smoother start than mine! It’s all over in a month, if that’s any consolation 💣